Divorce Advice For Men - Five Things to Do When It's Time to End the Relationship

By Renee Pullman

Marriage is intended to be forever. I suppose most of us who marry never expect it to end by divorce. The best divorce advice for men is, learn to be realistic. Half of all marriages end by divorce, and 2 to 1 it is the wife who files.

The partner who files first, particularly if it is unexpected, has a strategic advantage. If you are the partner who has been trying to rebuild the relationship and your partner files for divorce then this can be particularly devastating. If this has happened to you, you need to get past it - it is time to end the relationship. Get past the depression and disappointment and find the right kind of divorce advice to allow you to gain the intuitive.

Here are some things to do.

1. Learn to say positive things to yourself. Often when a divorce hits, it hits self-esteem hardest. You need to counter this with positive things to say for and about yourself. Learn about affirmations. ´Emile Coué popularized affirmations with his famous "everyday in every way I'm getting better and better." You can start with that one and find others to build you up.


2. Realize that you will have a life on the other side of the divorce. You need to start planning it now. Don't wait and see what you will have left, but rather plan the life you want with the things from the marriage that you want to keep and move forward learning the tactics to keep them.


3. You need to find a way to quickly separate your finances. It is very possible that your soon to be Ex will run up credit cards and clean out bank accounts. You need to open your own accounts and close the old ones.


4. Don't agree to move out of the marital house if it is one of the things you intend to keep. Agreements made for expediency tend to be looked on as final by some divorce courts. Divorce courts don't want to spend time dealing with things that are set. So find another room to move into if necessary or let her move out.


5. If at all possible find a way to tell the children together with your spouse. Let them understand that your feelings for them have not changed. Let them know they are still in a stable place in their lives.

Keep your eyes on where you want to be at the end of the divorce process. This will set up a mechanism in you mind that will help spot the strategic divorce openings and tactics that you need to take.

Divorce advice for men: divorce means learning all of the tactics and strategies that will give you the insider information to come out of divorce court without losing everything. "Divorce Strategy: Men" is insider tactics and strategies that will help you prevail in your divorce. http://www.squidoo.com/DivorceForMen is all about divorce for men - tactics, strategy, and how to keep your money, your kids, and your stuff.

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Divorce Advice For Men - What If You Really Just Want to Save Your Marriage?

By Renee Pullman

If your wife has told you she is thinking about a divorce, my first thought is you need to keep on your toes so you can protect your interests if you need to. I have written about doing this extensively and if you click my author name link above you will find lots of information on winning your divorce.

This time however I want to talk to the men who are actively trying to save their marriages. My heart goes out to you, it is not the easiest position to be in. Nevertheless here are some tips, and if you keep reading to the end you'll find a link to a great system for rebuilding relationships and winning your love back.

1. You will probably only get one shot at this so tread lightly, don't try to rush things. She is angry, probably for something you did or didn't do. She may need some time to get past this. Don't lay out some big logical sounding plan, emotions are at work here and you need to find a way to tap back into some of the good things that have existed between the two of you in the past.


2. Don't try to bribe her by sending special presents and flowers. Anyone can send flowers -- better to put your efforts into a handwritten, sincere, and heartfelt note with the thought of trying to tap into some of the good times the two of you had. The idea is not to sell her that these times are too good to throw away, or that we'll have them again: rather just bring them up to do battle by themselves with whatever it is that has brought the two of you to this point. Be honest -- feel the words you write and do not try to manipulate.


3. I'll say again, don't try to rush her. Whatever has happened between the two of you has to soften in her mind. But, do be sure to let her know that she is important to you and you want to keep her in your life.


4. If you are separated -- don't you dare stalk her. Don't make plans to always try to be where you think she will be. This is a losing strategy and it will just further inflame her feelings and alienate her. If you do wind up in divorce court these kinds of actions can cost you big time. I do want to mention again, particularly because things have progressed to separation, you want to be sure that you are protecting yourself if the divorce process is in play (see the first paragraph).

John Gray said it in the title to his famous book: "Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus." I want to tell you again not to try to lay out some totally logical argument as the reason for the two of you to stay married. This is a mans approach and believe me, it won't go very far no matter what the logic. The place the battle to save your marriage will be won or lost is how well you can tap into and shape her emotions.

Divorce advice for men who just want to save their marriages: there are a lot of psychological methods that can be used to successfully restore your relationship and I'm not talking about manipulation. Learn these methods and use them and you can save your marriage.

I invite you to visit http://www.TheMagicOfMakingupfast.com it is all about saving marriages and putting love and relationships back together.

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